In the „ I Feel Everyday” cycle I focused on psychological portraits, mainly of black women.
I wanted to draw attention to the emotions that accompany all of us on a daily basis. Regardless of origin, skin color, place of residence. Sadness, mistrust, malaise, boredom, resentment – it is often difficult to notice them but I think it is worth it, because they usually reflect the situation in which we are currently.
During my last trip to South Africa I had the opportunity to watch black women who intrigued me very much. I saw them singing, thoughtful. Sometimes sad and another time – joyful.
I have an impression that there are still few paintings showing black women in the art world. I would like to change it.
„Sadness”
I heard once that we prefer to tell sad stories than to experience sadness. And there is something about it.
Often, in order not to feel pain and avoid suffering, we cut ourselves off from sadness. We do not experience it in the body.
We mask with a smile. But we see it. Usually in the gaze.
This artwork was presented at a collective exhibition Malamegi LAB 2022 in Venice, Italy.
„Mistrust”
Sometimes intuition tells us to take a step back. We do not trust someone or something.
Referring to sadness: If we get access to it, we will also start to see other emotions that protect us. If we do not trust someone, we are willing to face them and say “no”, fight for ourselves.
„Malaise”
When we do not have contact with ourselves for too long, we lose the ability to speak, to oppose. We see, but we can’t name it. We are coming. This is how apathy is born. We are lying instead of facing life.
„Boredom”
And then it can appear. Boredom.
What is it really? When I googled this term, there were descriptions such as: feeling of inner emptiness, which can be caused by the lack of changes in the environment, any stimuli but also disease.
As for me, it is a state when I do not want to be somewhere but I do not see a way out of the existing situation. Also, it could be the effect of long-term neglect of my mental well-being.
„Resentment”
Resentment is a very strong feeling, which is like a contrast between what we want and what we do not get.
Sometimes it can look inconspicuous and gentle, and sometimes expose us with its sharpness against the background of a dark landscape.